My life has been quite good to be honest. Nothing has been drastically wrong for any prolonged period. But I always kept feeling like something was missing. Like I was searching for something more/ something else so often – and I didn’t know what it was. I kept fighting and arguing with people around me for no reason. 

You know.. sometimes we just think: 
-Once I get the perfect job, I’ll be happy.

-Once I solve this problem in my life, I’ll be happy 

-Once I become healthier, life will be perfect.

-Once I find my soulmate –  I’ll feel ecstatic. I’ll finally have the sense of complete well-being.

I was always postponing my happiness in a certain way and I found myself always waiting for the next thing to make me happy.

I guess I felt restless in my mind and not really because of any external factors.

I had often heard that – true happiness is found within.
But what does that mean and why couldn’t I find it?? 

That’s when I embarked on a journey to understand what was really getting in the way of this feeling of well-being that I was looking for.

I started doing a lot of experimenting with myself – reading different spiritual books, practicing vipassana, developing a daily yoga practice and constant self- analysis & inquiry (observing my own thoughts, questioning where my beliefs came from, being open to the possibility of my beliefs being wrong)

It became clear to me that the first step was that – 
We do not have to identify with the mind.
Each and every thought that occurs in our mind, we take it so personally. 

It didn’t matter if that thought arose out of anger or sadness or some temporary circumstance. I believed it to be 100% true in that moment. This caused a lot of disasters in my head. 

I started to realize how the quality of my day depended on the state of my mind. Slowly with my practice, I learnt to keep a few inches between me & my thoughts. Especially the negative ones.

Now when a negative thought arises – often (not always)
I can look at it objectively and say “Hi – you are here. Well you can stay, but I don’t want to snowball down with you right now”
It feels like such great freedom. Just being in that position where I can choose which thought serves me and which doesn’t.

It’s obviously not always rainbows & butterflies on this journey. Very often I feel like I haven’t made any progress at all and I end up snowballing in some negative thought. Sometimes I have to confront some very uncomfortable thoughts that pop up in my head (Jealousy, self-criticism, dejection, insecurities) But it’s all part of the journey. The little progress I have made is what keeps me going! When I can actually keep my cool in a heated scenario- When I actually experience myself not being my thought – it gives me faith that the practice is working! It helps me stay motivated to practice, even on days when it seems impossible 😊 

What is the thing you are waiting for until you can finally be happy?

Read more on how to get started on the inner voyage!